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goodbye Mr. MacOgwascher, she said as she sauntered
jauntily off to another job.
Hogy turned away in amazement. When, after some un-
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determined time, he was compelled to look down again he
found that his body had vanished and another body was
being brought in. It was all wrapped up in a whole mass of
cellophane, folded up like a parcel of laundry, he thought.
He watched with interest as the cellophane sheeting was
unwrapped and the body was exposed. It was a woman and
the bossman and male assistant soon got her clothes off.
Hogy, a most modest man, averted his eyes and in doing so
he looked rather further than he had seen before and he
saw one of the Display Rooms. There he was, propped up
in a very expensive casket and there were people gazing
down on him. They were drinking coffee, he saw. One put
his coffee cup down on the casket. Hogy looked down at
himself and thought that he looked just like a film star the
way he had been painted and powdered and dyed and
shaved and all the rest of it. He turned away in disgust.
Time passed. How long? No one knows, it must have
been two or three days anyway. Time does not matter in the
life beyond this. But Hogy was stuck in a certain spot, and
then suddenly he was moved again. He looked down and
found that he was in a hearse being driven to a Church, he
saw the casket taken into the Church and he saw the Roman
Catholic Memorial Service. Then he saw the parson go up
into his pulpit and give a Eulogy on Hogy MacOgwascher:
This dearly beloved brother, intoned the parson, is now
in the arms of Jesus in Heaven enjoying the rewards of the
virtuous. Hogy turned away and when next he looked it
was because of an insistent tugging; downwards his gaze
swept to find that he was being carried into the churchyard.
Then there followed more service, and he jumped as a great
clod of earth came tumbling down onto the casket. But then
he felt very foolish indeed as he realized that the body was
down there and he was up here , wherever there and here
was. But with that, with the filling-in of the grave, Hogy felt
free. He soared upwards with a force beyond his control
and then there was a little clunk and he found to his
complete amazement that he was again resting in the arms
of these angels. As soon as he was in their arms their wings
started flapping and their faces started smiling, they bore
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him upwards well, he did not know which way they were
going, he would have said every whichway but they
traveled at speed through a darkness which seemed to be
living, it seemed to be a darkness made of black velvet. But
then in the distance light appeared, a glorious golden light.
Hogy strained his eyes in the direction from which the light
came. They sped onwards and the light became brighter
and bigger, leaving Hogy blinking with the intensity of it.
Then as the angels emerged from what seemed to have been
a long tunnel Hogy saw the Pearly Gates sparkling away in
front of him, great golden gates speckled all over with
immense pearls. There was a gleaming white wall extending
from the Gates to the left and to the right, and through the
bars of the Gates Hogy could see immense domes of cath-
edrals and spires of noble churches.
There was the sound of music in the air, holy music,
Abide with me music with a few bars of Onward Christian
Soldiers coming from somewhere else. But they approached
the Gates with the angels still clutching him and their wings
still flapping.
St. Peter, or some saint, appeared at the Gates and
demanded, Who comes in the name of the Lord? One of
the angels answered, Mr. Hogy MacOgwascher, late of
Earth, comes. We demand admission. The Gates swung
open and Hogy saw his first saint close up. The saint seemed
to be clad in a long white robe like an old-fashioned night-
gown reaching from his neck down to his ankles. He had a
pair of wings stuck on behind which flapped easily, and
from somewhere at his back a shining brass rod extended
a few inches above his head and from the topmost point
there was a shining golden Halo. The saint looked at
Hogy, and Hogy looked at the saint; the latter said, You
will have to go to the Recording Angel first to make sure
that you are indeed entitled to enter. Over there, second
door to the right.
The angels took a fresh grip of Hogy he felt that he was
in the hands of delivery men! and their wings started to
flap. Slowly the angels bore him along the smooth, clean
roadway. Along the sides of the roadway there were saints
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or heavenly inhabitants sitting on grassy banks practicing
harp playing, the noise was quite indescribable because they
were all trying different musical pieces. But soon they reached
the office of the Recording Angel. Gently the attendants
upended Hogy so that he stood on his feet, gently they
propelled him forward. In there, said one, give all the
necessary details, date of death and all the rest of it. We'll
wait. So in Hogy went and he saw a benevolent old saint
sitting on a high stool, his wings flapping and looking over
gold-rimmed spectacles peering short-sightedly at Hogy.
He licked his thumb and pushed over a few pages of an
immense ledger muttering to himself as he did so, then he
stopped suddenly and held the page while his left hand
extended upwards. I've got it, he said, name Hogy
MacOgwascher, male, died unexpectedly. Yes, that's him,
that s you, I ve got your picture here.
Hogy looked on dumbly. It seemed to be a peculiar process
to be going on like this. The old fellow's wings were flapping
about and they were making a noise as if the things were
rusty. The Recording Angel jerked his thumb over his
shoulder and said, Thataway, thataway, they're waiting
for you outside, they'll do the right thing by you. Hogy
found himself moving, it was nothing to do with him, he
was just moving, and he went out without going through a
doorway. Outside, as soon as they saw him, his attendants
started their wings flapping again and their faces smiling.
They caught hold of Hogy and whisked him through the air.
Now you'll have to go to Church, said one. Yes, just as
well get in the swing of things at the start, said the other.
And with that they swooped down and entered the massive
front entrance of a Cathedral. Inside there were angels
sitting all over the place, their wings flapping in tune to the
music. Hogy was becoming more and more shocked, this
seemed to be a travesty of things, but he stayed for the
service which seemed to go on for an endless time, and all the
way through the angels were flapping their wings, crossing
themselves, and bowing to the altar. At last it was all over
and all the angels flew up like a flock of doves or pigeons
and Hogy was left in the empty Cathedral.
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He looked about him and marveled. It was impossible
that this could be Heaven. He had been misled all the way
along. This talk of angels was nonsense, this talk of people
singing and going to services all the time it was too absurd
to be believed, and immediately it came to Hogy that the
whole thing was ridiculous there was a sound like a clap of
thunder and there seemed to be a rippling flash go down
from the sky to the ground and it was as though a great
curtain was rent and fell away. Hogy looked up astounded.
There was his father coming toward him laughing and with
his arms outstretched: Oh Hogy my boy, said Father
MacOgwascher, you did hold to your religion bred hallucin-
ation for quite a time, didn't you? Never mind, I went
through all the same thing except that my hallucination
led me to see Moses. Well, now you've come out of that we
can get together and talk about things. Come with me, my
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