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working through the anger of resentment. This function
proves useful for the management of anxiety which stems
from unresolved rage: the wrongs done us, and our role in
still giving them the power to bother us so much. Learn-
ing to forgive can go along with working through and let-
ting go of the raw pain from these wounds.
The Buddhist tradition of mindfulness also has great
Mindfulness
power in the management of anxiety. Dr. Mark Epstein a state of being
aware of all of the
makes this case in Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart:
details of one s sur-
A Buddhist Perspective On Wholeness,9 as does Dr. Jeffrey
roundings.
Brantley in Calming Your Anxious Mind.10 The central
notion of mindfulness teaches us to allow and hyperfo-
cus on the idea which makes us most anxious. Rather
than fight our anxiety or try to disavow it, we allow it;
and as we do so we become able, paradoxically, to create
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a distance between it and ourselves. Thus it becomes
less threatening and less disturbing. We begin to devel-
op control over it by letting go of the control. Rather
than fight the void you feel in yourself and attempt
desperately to fill it, you can allow it and thus soothe
yourself the process of allowance. This technique is
quite powerful try it, and if you want to meditate,
too, then it is even more likely to serve as yet another
weapon in your arsenal to manage your anxiety.
98. Where can I find an anxiety
disorders support group, and how could
that help me?
Group therapy can provide one of the mainstays in treat-
ment for anxiety disorders, and an anxiety disorder sup-
port group can provide an essential touchstone. The
easiest place to start this process is the Anxiety Disorders
of America Association (ADAA) Web site. You can
enter your state and zip code and they will contact you
with the closest meeting place. You can meet others who
have suffered from anxiety, educate yourself more about
anxiety disorders, find a referral for treatment, and learn
of different group therapy options. The group modality
of treatment can prove invaluable with anxiety disorders.
The power of the group and the strength drawn from
surrounding yourself with others who suffer from symp-
toms similar to your own yields a calming, stabilizing
presence. This technique can combat the feelings of
shame and secrecy that so often go along with anxiety.
Believe it or not, you are not alone out there.
Selma s comments:
My anxiety disorders support group was comprised of me
and my analyst, and it helped me to transform myself from
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inappropriate energy wasting and life-destroying anxi-
eties. I came to accept life s realistic anxieties, which can be
handled. This allows me to live a life that can be construc-
tive and creative and competent with consistent, applied,
hard work. This support group involved both of us concen-
trating and sifting through a problem and allowing it to be
disbursed in a different way. With slow, laborious, dedicat-
ed work, my life was changed forever.
This support group of two saved my life, and indeed, gave
me life. Whatever support group is used, I would think it
cannot be an outside-of-you experience. You have to be the
most active member of the support group; as it seems to me,
the only person that makes the change develop is oneself.
There is no question in my mind that I could not have done
it without my analyst. No one else or no other group could
possibly have supplied that intense concentration on me,
coupled with a depth of knowledge and training.
99. What do I do if all else fails?
If all else fails, two major strategies come to mind. If
you have tried various treatments that simply have not
worked for one reason or another, it may be that you
suffer from an unconscious source of anxiety that, were
it conscious and available to the surface of your mind,
would be more known and amenable to intervention.
In these situations, finding a well-trained psychoana-
lyst who comes with a highly regarded referral in your
area can be invaluable. To find one near you, go the
Web site of the American Psychoanalytic Association.11
If Western medicine and its medical model has failed
you, or you feel unable to settle into any of the more
traditional Western treatment frames described in this
book, then I would recommend you go East. The East-
ern medical model often integrated with the best of
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what we know in the West uses a different frame-
work to diagnose and treat disease. Many patients who
cannot become comfortable or find effective therapeu-
tics with the Western model have gone East and had
success. Why this phenomenon takes place is compli-
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