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in your beauty.
Jenny sighed, rolling the stem between her palms and sniffing the blossom s fragrance.
 There are times that I get so tired of being a woman, Papa Antonio. It seems that there are so many
things a woman especially a young, unmarried woman should not do, and all of them are more
interesting than what I am supposed to like doing.
 I think, in time, you will learn that there are things a woman may do that a man may not, Papa Antonio
said, placidly clipping off a few dead leaves.  Remember this and be patient.
Jenny shifted. Even her ankle-length skirts felt awkward, the gown s bodice clinging and the stays stifling.
 I don t much like being patient, she admitted.  Right now I m wondering if I should have stayed in
America. Uncle Neville would have made sure some banker gave me a proper allowance, and Madame
turned a blind eye on my  frontier eccentricities. I didn t need to dress for company so often, and when I
reached my majority I could have convinced Uncle Neville to let me go back West. I know I could. He s
a decent sort.
Papa Antonio smiled at this compliment to his friend, but he hadn t missed her restless impatience with
her costume.
 A lady s dress is like a cage, no? he said.  They wall in the ribs with something tight. These days they
give you a fat tail of heavy cloth that drags behind. Not so long ago, I recall that the ladies surrounded
themselves with great hoops of whalebone and wire very real cages, indeed, that made their skirts
stand out like sails on a ship. I think you don t like these cages at all, no?
 Not one bit! Jenny replied firmly.  They re stuffy and they re uncomfortable. I can t see how making a
woman into some sort of funny shape makes her prettier, either. A man gets to be shaped like a man.
Why can t a woman be shaped like a woman?
Papa Antonio chuckled comfortably.
 Perhaps because not all women have such a pretty shape as you do, he said gallantly,  and they are
happy to hide under petticoats and layers of skirts.
Jenny snorted, but she couldn t help but share his laughter, imagining some stout matron wearing trousers
that exposed the breadth of her backside for all to see.
Papa Antonio grew serious.  Perhaps it is that men fear that if a woman was shaped like a woman he
could not trust himself to behave as less than an animal.
Jenny had seen too much on the frontier to dismiss this, much as she would have liked to believe finer
ideals. She was struggling to find an appropriate retort when Papa Antonio continued,
 In all sincerity, Jenny, while I understand many of your complaints how could I not? I, who have given
over my European clothing for the pleasures of an Arab robe? While I understand this, I cannot
understand why a woman like yourself who is wise enough to resent the cage of a gown would want to
put herself into a much more permanent cage.
Jenny stared at him, open-mouthed.
 What do you mean?
 Why just a moment ago you were wondering whether you should have stayed in America. You were
speaking of going to the West where you think you could make rules for yourself, no?
Jenny nodded, uncertain what the correct response would be.
 I know that the American West is a great, vast place, bigger than much of Europe, but even so
compared to all the world it is a very small place indeed. If you go back, certain you can live nowhere
else, you will have put yourself into a cage of your own making.
Jenny sank down on the edge of the fountain. Trailing her fingers in the water, she considered what the
old man had said.
Papa Antonio poured them both lemonade from a thick stoneware pitcher placed ready by one of his
attentive Copts. Then he stood, listening to the sounds of his household going about its duties, and waiting
for her to speak. His silence was so unusual that Jenny bit back a hasty retort about the frontier being
plenty big enough for her and spoke more carefully.
 It would be a cage, wouldn t it? My mama was a nurse during the War Between the States, helping my
papa. Later she encouraged me when I wanted to be a doctor. She always said that a woman should
know more than the kind of chatter that fills the spaces between the fashion plates in Godey s Lady s
Book . Papa agreed with her. I guess they spoiled me some, even though they tried not to. They even
made sure I went back East for a proper education, though I couldn t see the need. Maybe Madame
was the one who was right after all.
Papa Antonio patted her on one shoulder.
 No need to go so far the other way, Jenny. Be happy being Jenny Benet, with all the sides she has.
What I do not want you to do is to put yourself into any cage, just because you are hoping to make life
simple. One thing this old man has learned is that life is never simple. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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