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gigantic mess, and I get blamed. Hence, the effort to get all the great sex I can before it s too late. He
jerked his thumb at the circling specters. And they get to eat me too. Gross, eh?
Paige s mouth dropped open. Theyeat you? Why?
To get their souls back. If I had passed on the legacy, then they would have been free to go party or
whatever it is that they d do, but if I die without freeing them first . . . He made a face. Like I said,
vortex of hell. Not worth mentioning. It s really too depressing. So, the plan?
Jed held up his hand. Wait a sec. What about all the gateways collapsing? We don t guard those
anymore.
Well, duh, big guy. Bandit rolled his eyes at Paige. The young ones think they have all the info, don t
they?
Then we re so lucky that you do, right? Paige asked.
Exactly. Bandit gave a condescending sigh and turned to Jed. We don t actually guard the gates, but
we re still bonded to them. Why do you think we re all such a mess? Being deprived of our legacy has
seriously screwed us all up. One shadow warrior I know runs a couple terrorist groups and another runs
this cult up in Washington where they do human sacrifice and eat only spinach and pine nuts. Face it,
boy, without a gate to guard, we re aimless, shiftless creatures with a hell of a lot of power and nowhere
to channel it. I even heard one sorry son of a bitch actually hired himself out as an assassin to Satan Jr.
Can you imagine his payback when heaven and hell collapse in the next day or two? He ought to be
getting laid as much as possible, if he s got any brain. Bandit s wink said he knew exactly who Jed was.
Jed snorted. Actually, I m spending my time trying to save the world. I m sort of a long-term-planner
kind of guy.
Which is why I invited you in. But I m not hearing a plan. Bandit snapped his fingers. Time s
a-wasting. Either I need to get back to my last hurrah, or we need to stop the slide of heaven into hell.
Jed s cell phone rang, and he glanced it. Junior again? He flipped it open. What?
Is she in love yet?
No. He snapped it shut without another explanation as Paige tapped Bandit s knee.
After touching him, she looked at her hand and wiped it on her jeans. Have you tried to get into the
Afterlife where Rafi is?
Bandit rolled his eyes again. Well, duh, of course I tried. Hello? Do you think I d be sitting here on my
ass waiting for all these creepy things to eat their souls out of me if I had a choice?
Jed grimaced as one of the creepy things brushed a shadowy hand through Bandit s heart, as if to
remind him that she was waiting for her moment.
Paige set her hands on her hips. Well, if Jed kills you now, would that work, do you think? Preempt the
slide into the vortex by having you die of unnatural causes?
Bandit leapt to his feet, grabbed the clock radio off his nightstand, and brandished it at her. Don t even
think about it. I ll have the same result, just sooner, and I ll get no last hurrah. His pants were sagging
down around his hips, revealing dingy briefs with elastic that was barely holding them up.
Jed cursed. Pull yourself together, man. You re an embarrassment to shadow warriors everywhere.
And no woman s going to give you a last hurrah looking like that, Paige added.
Bandit yanked his sweats up. Women love deadly warriors.
Not ones that smell like dead fish and have cannibalistic ghosts stalking them. Paige turned to face Jed.
We ve got to talk to Jerome. If Bandit s right about heaven and hell collapsing, I d have to think that
Jerome would be willing to release Rafi long enough to get tapped.
If they believe us. He eyed Bandit. You willing to testify as to the truth of what you said?
Damn straight. It was the Council that deemed us obsolete in the first place. I d love to go in there
and
You have to shower and wash your clothes, Paige interrupted. Buy deodorant. And some cologne.
Maybe a lot of cologne. Jerome won t take you seriously if you go in as a stinky, sloppy ex art thief with
a gambling addiction.
Bandit sighed and sat back down on the bed. I m really not a very good shopper. I don t have a sense
of my color palette.
Color palette ? Jed repeated. Who cares about a color palette? Just go to any store, grab some
jeans and a shirt and you ll be in much better shape than you are now.
Bandit gave them a droopy look. If I look bad on purpose, that s me showing attitude. If Itry to look
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