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" Grateful list. Make a list of things about which you re grateful in your life. Give thanks for
them daily.
" Think positive. Try eliminating negative thinking from your life, and thinking positive instead.
" Small pleasures. Make a list of small things that give you great pleasure. Sprinkle them
throughout your day. Notice other small pleasures as you go through your day.
" Kindness. Practice random acts of kindness and compassion. Do it anonymously. Help those in
need. Volunteer. Make someone smile.
" Love. Make an intimate connection with your loved ones. Develop your friendships. Spend time
with them, converse, understand them, make them happy.
" Health. Exercise and eat healthy it sounds trite, but it can bring great happiness to your
life.
" Meaning. It s often useful to find meaning, either through a church or spiritual way, or through
those we love in life or through the things we re passionate about. Give yourself a purpose.
" Flow. Eliminate distractions, and really pour yourself into whatever you re doing. If it s writing
an article, like this one, really put yourself into it, until you forget the outside world.
" Know yourself. Become attuned to what brings you happiness. Study yourself. Learn about
what you love, and about your ability to love. Increase your capacity for compassion.
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" " "
Practical Tips for Living the Golden Rule
...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Leviticus 19:18
One of the few rules I try to live my life by, and fail every day trying, is the Golden Rule.
I love the simplicity of the Golden Rule, its tendency to make I interact with happier ... and its
tendency to make me happier as well.
It s true: the rule of treating others as you would want to be treated in their place will ultimately
lead to your own happiness.
Let s say that you apply the Golden Rule in all of your interactions with other people, and you
help your neighbors, you treat your family with kindness, you go the extra mile for your co-
workers, you help a stranger in need.
Now, those actions will undoubtedly be good for the people you help and are kind to ... but you ll
also notice a strange thing. People will treat you better too, certainly. Beyond that, though, you will
find a growing satisfaction in yourself, a belief in yourself, a knowledge that you are a good person
and a trust in yourself.
Those are not small dividends. They are huge. And for that reason not even considering that
our world will be a better place if more people live by this rule I recommend you make the
Golden Rule a focus of your actions, and try to live by it to the extent that you can.
I will admit that there are strong arguments against the Golden Rule, that there are exceptions
and logic arguments that the Golden Rule, taken to extremes, falls apart. I m not concerned about
that stuff. The truth is, on a day-to-day basis, living by the Golden Rule will make you a better
person, will make those around you happier, and will make the community you live in a better
place.
With that in mind, let s take a look at some practical tips for living the Golden Rule in your daily
life:
1. Practice empathy. Make it a habit to try to place yourself in the shoes of another person.
Any person. Loved ones, co-workers, people you meet on the street. Really try to understand, to
the extent that you can, what it is like to be them, what they are going through, and why they do
what they do.
2. Practice compassion. Once you can understand another person, and feel what they re
going through, learn to want to end their suffering. And when you can, take even a small action to
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somehow ease their suffering in some way.
3. How would you want to be treated? The Golden Rule doesn t really mean that you should
treat someone else exactly as you d want them to treat you ... it means that you should try to
imagine how they want to be treated, and do that. So when you put yourself in their shoes, ask
yourself how you think they want to be treated. Ask yourself how you would want to be treated
if you were in their situation. John F. Kennedy did that during the controversial days of de-
segregation in the 1960s, asking white Americans to imagine being looked down upon and treated
badly based only on the color of their skin. He asked them to imagine how they would want to be
treated if they were in that situation, and act accordingly towards the blacks.
4. Be friendly. When in doubt, follow this tip. It s usually safe to be friendly towards others. Of
course, there are times when others just don t want someone acting friendly towards them, and
you should be sensitive to that. You should also be friendly within the bounds of appropriateness.
But who doesn t like to feel welcome and wanted?
5. Be helpful. This is probably one of the weaknesses of our society. Sure, there are many
people who go out of their way to be helpful, and I applaud them. But in general there is a
tendency to keep to yourself, and to ignore the problems of others. Don t be blind to the needs and
troubles of others. Look to help even before you re asked.
6. Be courteous in traffic. Another weakness of our society. There are few times when we are
as selfish as when we re driving. We don t want to give up the right of way, we cut people off, we
honk and curse. Perhaps it s the isolation of the automobile. We certainly don t act that rude in
person, most of the time. So try to be courteous in traffic.
7. Listen to others. Another weakness: we all want to talk, but very few of us want to listen.
And yet, we all want to be listened to. So take the time to actually listen to another person, rather
than just wait your turn to talk. It ll also go a long way to helping you understand others.
8. Overcome prejudice. We all have our prejudices, whether it s based on skin color,
attractiveness, height, age, gender ... it s human nature, I guess. But try to see each person as
an individual human being, with different backgrounds and needs and dreams. And try to see the
commonalities between you and that person, despite your differences.
9. Stop criticism. We all have a tendency to criticize others, whether it s people we know or
people we see on television. However, ask yourself if you would like to be criticized in that person s
situation. The answer is almost always no . So hold back your criticism, and instead learn to
interact with others in a positive way.
10. Don t control others. It s also rare that people want to be controlled. Trust me. So don t do
it. This is a difficult thing, especially if we are conditioned to control people. But when you get the
urge to control, put yourself in that person s shoes. You would want freedom and autonomy and
trust, wouldn t you? Give that to others then.
11. Be a child. The urge to control and criticize is especially strong when we are adults dealing
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with children. In some cases, it s necessary, of course: you don t want the child to hurt himself,
for example. But in most cases, it s not. Put yourself in the shoes of that child. Remember what it
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